It was absolutely beautiful out and my daughter and I played Frisbee and football in the yard in an attempt (by both of us) to act like all was well in the world. Assface was scheduled to stop by around 1:00 and as usual he was annoyingly early. At 12:23 he shot me a text saying he was "in the area".
I'm going to take a second
to say this: I fucking hate early people. Do you know what kind of
people are always early? The same people who listen to sports radio when
they could actually be watching the game because "the play-by-plays
boost their imagination and enhance the game intellectually". The same
people who have Post-It notes all over their homes with to-do lists that
actually get done and positive affirmations they actually believe. The
same people who like cats better than dogs and wouldn't want a dragon as a pet. Arrive
10 minutes early to everything? Congrats. Now you can sit and wait for
people like me to finish checking our email and the final scores on a
couple games.
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| This is what I'm doing while you're checking your watch. |
 | |
| Or I may be looking at pictures of Brady online. |
 |
| I could be hunting muskrats. But you know what I'm not doing? Waiting for you. |
I digress.
The goal of the day, for both of us- other than him getting some small crap that he needed before the big move in a few days- was to talk to my daughter. She's 8 and she's the one who got screwed out of this whole deal. Period. Well, her and my dog, who really loved Assface. But when he proposed the idea of talking to her about her feelings when he came over, I knew it would be fruitless. My child takes forever to process crap. Once, after a big cross-country move to the East Coast when she was 4, she acted like we had just switched apartment buildings or something- she was so cool about it. Then suddenly, two months later she started peeing on the welcome mat outside of the back door. She said it was because she didn't like it as much as the one at our old place. Dually noted.
Regardless, I'm so glad he had to suffer some of the awkward I'd been dealing with since the second we split.
My daughter's the type of kid who is badass by nature. I want to take credit for her, I really do, but she's just herself. In a way that is amazing. If you ask her a question, it takes her forever to answer it. But the answer is just what she wants it to be and almost always way cooler then you expected coming from an 8 year old. So essentially, you have an 8 year old who out-thinks you while giving you ample time to realize she's out-thinking you.
